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so fresh and so clean (clean)

that's been in my head for a week. pop culture is fascinating. I simultaneously loathe and love it.

so I'm reading kristin's blog this morning and realize I need to be writing. because it is fall, and it is change, and leaves are shifting even though the weather's holding out, and I'm entertaining thoughts of skirts with boots, and I made some new scarves already. I'm crafty, I think. sometimes. most times.

in the last few days: my fish died, I brought my mom home from chemo only to have her go back to the hospital for some random chest pain (that wound up being nothing), I decided to take on more hours at the coffee shop, I've got an art show there in april (for a whole month!!!), and we've tentatively decided to blow out my mom's garage into a 2+ car and put an apartment on top. like an inlaw. only now. so, like I was saying this morning, I guess this would make us outlaws. I'm picturing a wall of closets and my pictures all over the place, everywhere there's not a window. I think it will be good.

so I'm scared about my mom. I trust her doctor completely, so there's no issue there, but I'm thrown to horror stories about people going to the hospital for gas and getting sent home and like, their appendix explodes or something. but I can't live in fear. so what do I do? how about move in? really. it sounds extreme, but I think we've got a pretty serious case here. not to mention all the little things around the house that even in fine health that my mom can't really do, little things that make me look around the house and think someone else lives there. I don't want to live with that sadness, and neither should she. plus, is it really that much of a downer to go live in a brand new custom designed apartment, for what the equity line will cost (about $300 a month), plus utilities? I don't think so.

it just seemed like so much was happening since the last time I went to write. I'll hear about my paper friday, when we watch "dead poet's society" in class. I haven't seen it in long enough that bits of it will be new again - it's so great. I love that movie so much. my hair is growing back in, and I'm learning to make kick-ass foam without cheating and using different milk. it was sad to flush heywood away, he looked the same, but his poor little fish-eyes were all strange and gross... I had him for four years. almost exactly. through four apartments, a marriage, a house, a divorce, and three-quarters of my sobriety. more than that, I got him about a year in. so 5/6ths of my sobriety.

like kristin said, he's gone off to that big toilet bowl in the sky.

echoes in the alleyway

don't you?